Installment #1     Calling All Crabby Old Women

Women and Children and Men First

     When I hear a news report about a disaster and the reporter says the casualties included “women and children,” that irritates me.  Of course, when children are caught in natural disasters or the crossfire of idiot adults acting badly, it is especially tragic. But, this “women and children” thing implies that the tragedy is especially sad because women and children were victims. Is it less tragic to lose a son, husband, or father than a daughter, wife, or mother?  Men’s lives are equally valuable, and it’s equally tragic when they are lost. I get that when the boat is listing at 45 degrees, it should be “children first.” It’s past time, however, to retire that “women and children” thing. It devalues our menfolk.

     Also, grouping women with children implies equivalent helplessness, and that devalues we womenfolk. It perpetrates the notion that women are childlike and in need of protection (and therefore easier to treat like children no matter their age.) Please! Women are carrying weapons across the desert and wielding scalpels during brain surgery. That is not “dew” on their foreheads.

     If my ship is sinking, men do not need to step aside and help me hoist my hoop skirt over the railing. Maybe I’ll want my chance to be heroic and help some worthy gent save himself. On the other hand, maybe I’ll want my chance to fend for myself and race him to the rail. None of that should depend on which side of the shirt the buttons are sewn on.

     I heard an NPR reporter use the phrase “women and children” to show that some tragedy was especially egregious. I asked NPR about that. They said they have addressed this outdated custom, but once in a while it slips by the editor. I wasn’t the only crabby one, I guess.

     And just for the record, yes, it’s very nice when people hold doors open for one another, all genders aside. Whoever gets there first and is able to open the door should. Whomever benefits from this kind gesture, just say thank you. Save your crabbiness for something important like “women and children first.”