No Exceptions? Really?
The nurses on our oncology unit cared for cancer patients but also cared for mothers who were losing a pregnancy or who faced terminating a pregnancy gone wrong. Why the oncology unit? Because the last thing a mother losing her baby needs is to be on a delivery unit where she will hear crying babies and joyful laughter. We were accustomed to dealing with loss and grief, so they were sent to us.
Sometimes these mothers were suffering a miscarriage; sometimes the baby was malformed and would die before or after birth; sometimes it already had died. In some cases, this was a danger to the mother. Although some babies might live a few minutes if labor was allowed to continue, they might suffer pain and air hunger during that time.
A baby born dead or who died just after birth was always treated with respect. Parents were given a little knitted hat that the baby had worn. Families were given a certificate to acknowledge the birth, including footprints that might be a quarter inch long. When possible, a photo was taken. They were encouraged to hold the baby for as long as they wanted. Sometimes we wrapped the babe in a blanket exposing just a heel or glimpse of skin because the rest would have been too disturbing to view. Sometimes, it needed to be fully covered if the anomalies were extreme. I doubt most people shouting about such issues in the political arena could imagine such human anomalies. Most of these pregnancies were greatly anticipated, some were the result of procedures to overcome infertility. Sometimes families opted out of these support measures.
We saw brave husbands sit by their grieving wives, knowing they would go home empty-handed. I also remember those distraught fathers who sat in the waiting room with the couple’s other children. He might be holding a toddler on his knee and watching his other children. He might be struggling with how to explain that no baby will be coming home with them.
In the worst-case scenario, this father and mother faced a gut-wrenching decision about letting the pregnancy or labor continue or ending it. Sometimes a mother’s future fertility was threatened if she continued to struggle against a pregnancy gone wrong. Sometimes the mother’s very life was threatened. Imagine someone saying to that father, sitting with his other children, that the mother must continue such a pregnancy even if it kills her or causes her physical and/or mental damage. I never heard a physician pose such a choice. I certainly never heard anything remotely akin to “No exceptions for you!”
Imagine some politician bursting into the room and saying, “I will make the decisions for your family.” Imagine a politician saying, “I will decide to let this mother to these other children die to save a baby that will live for just a few minutes.”
No exceptions? The ignorance! The arrogance! The utter mean-spiritedness! “No exceptions” is not born of love or concern or any reasonable resemblance to Christianity. At best, it’s the result of misinformation and at worst, the result of a corrosive desire for power and control. It’s also a sleazy means of pandering to a political base for personal gain. “No exceptions” is anything but pro-life.
Maybe this issue doesn’t seem pertinent to you right now. Just wait until people who use such strong-arm tactics set their sites on something you do care about. It’s only a matter of time.
If you want “no exceptions,” how about equal public education, equal health care and equal school safety for all children–with absolutely no exceptions. That, my friends, is pro-life.
